Project 100 rejections

I have been seeing people online talking about actively chasing rejection by putting themselves in situations where they can either be judged and fail or take something good out of it, but the crux of the matter is to do it with the goal to get rejected. It's always called something like "project 1000 rejections". I decided to do it, but I toned it down to 100 rejections and so far I've only been able to come up with about 50 situations I can put myself through in a year. 

To make it more organized I made a spreadsheet with the idea, the number of tries, the answer (if I got rejected or not)  and the motive for the answer or the context. So far I checked 19 boxes and some of them made it to a second try. I tried for summer jobs a few moths ago (it's the end of summer where I write from), I'm trying to stop smoking or reduce it substantially, I started two recruitment processes, asked for an opportunity to do paid research, asked for discount on products, flirted with strangers, submitted some poems to an online contest, tried to get my drivers license and went on a date!

I got rejections from most of these situations, but some of them paid off. Didn't go home with the person I went on a date with, but had three games of pool, a very long conversation and a drunk walk around the neighbourhood. I'm getting paid to do research in my field of study. Still going about that recruiting process and the contest, and I'm halfway through getting my drivers license. About getting rejected from the jobs and the flirting with strangers: I guess I'm learning to keep trying after a series of faillures. 

It's not like I'm not used to failling, I've gotten more nos than yesses throughout my life, tried to stop smoking multiple times, got dumped by women and got rejected from most jobs I applied to. But this time I'm not expecting success at all, and that is certainly freeing. Seeing life as a research project or an experiment makes it all a lot easier to flow with it.

Ultimately I think I might have started this as a reason to put myself out there this year. Sometimes I think it's a terrible time to choose life over dread considering the state of the world and my country and the risks that I already face in everyday life without having to chase them, but on the other hand, what better time to go crazy and do whatever than when the world is about to get inhospitable? I might be exposure-therapying myself into breaking free from chronic anxiety, depression and existencial angst or I might just be going insane. 

So this is Project 100 rejections! Might update on whatever happens next.