im so damn lonely.

i was going to make a different blog post, but honestly i don't think i have the power to write it. 

so, ill explain the title.

I've been struggling, lots. and I've actually reached out for help, professional help. 

but that's not the point of this. i have my friend group and they care, sometimes.

but lately i kind feel like a side character. and I'm not gonna be like "ohhh they hate me so much" bc ik they have their own lives and struggles, but 8 times out of ten when i message the gc we're in i get ignored, serious and silly things. and I'm not saying i want everyone to be like giving me attention all the time, obviously not. but like, i can be rally excited abt something and either I'm ignored or i get "cool." "k." 

like what? it ruins my mood so damn much. 

or like, if I'm upset abt something i just get ignored or get "damn"

i just want someone who will actually listen to me, and not Waterdown my emotions. ik I'm a lot, but it cant be that hard, right?

I'm not asking for much, am i? just someone to actually care.

and like, not just abt the serious stuff, but also the small things that make me happy. i want someone i can nerd out with.

not to mention, i try so hard to learn about people, how to make them happy, everything! and nobody does that.

i feel like a lost cause anyway, its not like im going to be here for much longer.

anywho, happy 1 year to this online persona. thank you to everyone who has supporte me.

sincerly, alice.