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Going in hot on this one, basically my closest online friend, at that point my only friend left passed away a few weeks ago and I have been taking it very horribly. Just knowing the fact that right now I’m like textbook definition of alone with no real friends hurts so fucking much she was the last person I was close to because my irl social circle vaporized after I graduated. I’ve never had much friends in my life because I’m an introvert/anti-social but the few people in that circle went their own ways whether it’d be college or work
But yeah this hits very different it’s not like we had a falling out and cut ties or just grew distant, no she’s fucking dead and I’ve been gaslighting myself into thinking it’s all a sick joke but nah it’s real.. right now I’m in contact with one of her cousins that is overseeing all her stuff in the meantime and I keep telling myself “it’s just her” but as the days have been going by and I started knowing them a bit more I think it’s legit and yeah. I’ve just been going down a horrible spiral and honestly if it weren’t for my meds or the fact that I’m not in school or work right now I genuinely think I wouldve done something stupid at this point.
As to why that’s related to why I’m here well yeah I guess to put it bluntly I’m trying to “fill that void” even though I never really will she meant a lot to me and I know it was the same for her. So yeah, guess I’m hoping to meet new people here so feel free to dm (or whatever it’s called on here since I’m not deep into alt-Y2K stuff I’m just taking a gamble I guess). I mean I really should be working towards getting out more often and just naturally meeting people that way but it’s really difficult for me to do that
Anyway yeah signing off o7
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ᴋɪᴋɪ // ᴄᴏʀᴅᴇʟʟᴀ // ᴄᴏʀᴅᴇʟɪᴀ
I’m so sorry about your friend and I really hope you can learn to find ways to let peace back into your life eventually but do whatever works best for you, not others. That’s the number one thing people often forget when they heal from their grief or trauma. I’d be more than happy to DM you and talk about random shit (or whatever I actually have no idea what it’s called) and I hope that maybe you’ll find someone out there who can make you feel whole again 🩷
Nayeli_W
There’s not much anyone can say to another person grieving, especially when I don’t know you or the person you lost. But I can try.
I don’t know how you lost that person, but if they were as lonely as you, I’d place a bet that they were thinking about you. Thinking about how you’d miss them, no matter how they died.
I hope that you know they will always be here, not just spiritually, (if u believe in that stuff) but in the ways that they lived.
In their conversations with you online.
In their interests.
In what they liked about anything at all.
And I hope you can feel them when you remember and see these things, and live with them even after they’ve passed.
Please don’t forget them, and please don’t let their passing influence you to do the same.
xXTiger_LilyXx
Im sorry to hear that your best online friend has passed away. I can somewhat relate as I too have in the past, had an online friend that passed away. It's certainly a weird feeling to shake, especially since with online friends, you typically don't meet them in person. The image you have of them, or created in your mind about them is suddenly gone. It seems though despite their passing, you have formed a sort of connection with their cousin. That can be a good thing in helping with your shared grief, and if they're open to friendship, id see where it goes. Please don't be so hard on yourself regarding this situation. It's never easy losing someone you are close to. And denial is one step of the grieving process. Wishing the best for you.
xXTiger_LilyXx
Im sorry to hear that your best online friend has passed away. I can somewhat relate as I too have in the past, had an online friend that passed away. It's certainly a weird feeling to shake, especially since with online friends, you typically don't meet them in person. The image you have of them, or created in your mind about them is suddenly gone. It seems though despite their passing, you have formed a sort of connection with their cousin. That can be a good thing in helping with your shared grief, and if they're open to friendship, id see where it goes. Please don't be so hard on yourself regarding this situation. It's never easy losing someone you are close to. And denial is one step of the grieving process. Wishing the best for you.