first 2026 blog

It's been so long since I've actually made a blog and replied to DMs, which makes me feel super guilty, but in my defense, I feel like I've been through hell and back from the time I last posted till now :') ---->>> Where to even begin regarding current events, still hell? I mean, I guess the point of this space is to not be filled with the impending doom the world has offered us but it wouldn't make sense to address these things. It really affects us. It's quite hard to find the motivation to write when nothing interesting is happening in your life, love life is pretty much non-existent, and friends are few - so I've just been in my own bubble for the past 6 months.

 I'm back to studying now and it feels harder than ever before because my mental health is just a complete mess. Some days feel harder than others, some days make me feel really grateful. I think now more than ever we need support from our friends, our loved ones, because there are a few of us who face really harsh realities every day. It's kinda difficult to explain to friends who can't relate. How weird is it that we live in the same world yet it can feel like we are from different planets? Finding connection and understanding is the hardest for me. Also learned a lot of lessons last year regarding romance, which I refuse to repeat like a broken record because really, what's new? Some days the only thing that gives me comfort is knowing that I'm in control of my future and what happens, where I go, who I keep in my life, in times like these where kind of everything is uncertain about the future. Some days I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it's like screaming and everyone is deaf. I've just decided to stay silent, kinda dangerous ngl. 

 I guess my mantra for this year is - whatever will be, will be. No forcing, not trying to understand anything. What will be, will be. Sometimes there's comfort in not knowing. Not knowing someone's intentions, not knowing how the future will turn out, just not knowing anything. There is peace in not knowing and I'm choosing it. I want this to be a reminder to all my friends to choose peace over anything that is eating at their soul, or breaks their mind. It really isn't worth it. Nothing and nobody is worth losing your sanity.NOTHING IN THIS WORLD GUyS!!! On another note I tried a new recipe for this chocolate cake and it was pretty much a small serving for just myself I think I'm gonna make it more often and maybe hot chocolate now that the weather is cooling down and Autumn is officially here. More Autumn blogs? Maybe.

We shall see :'))