I dont even know how to start

TW:  mention of suicide 

The past month really took my soul out of my body. 

I found out My dearest, precious online friend vio took her own life. I wrote this a million times because it still feels surreal,  i was looking for another place where to vomit all these feelings and here I found it. 

We met through some danganronpa gc in 2020 when we were 12 and 15 , she was like a little sibling to me , we went through everything together and shared a lot of our lives , to the point I was planning to visit one day.

I knew she was struggling, it seems that she met horrible people in real life, and it's their fault it ended this way. 

After a while , I reached out to her best friend simon and we talked for a few days , I told him I was gonna visit him very soon, i wanted to help him somehow,

but just 2 days later he also left us.

This is so heartbreaking and I wish I could've done more. 

My family really doesnt understand how heavy this is to me , and they've been mocking me for crying over online people. My brother in christ they were REAL people. and they were only 18.

I struggle with thoughts sometimes, and finding out about them really didnt make it better.. at all.

I promise I'm gonna visit them one day , and they need to be remembered , they were the most amazing beautiful souls. and they did NOT deserve this. 

I dont believe in god because was this really necessary? "god's plan" my ass

fact: vio chose my nickname baba 

I hope you found peace  , and i hope you're still partying and having fun wherever you are,  one day I'll reach you eventually

 I love you forever <3