22

at 9:30am, today, she died

when i was young she used to teach me math

back then i got along with her despite her grumpy-ness

i think im good at handling people like her

i didnt cry after hearing hat she died, i was happy for her because she was in so much pain

and i dont need anything from her to stay on this earth and suffer further

thus, im relieved that she is no longer hurting

before she died,

she told my relatives that she wanted to reborn as my child

we were not that close but i suppose she liked me in her own way

i like her too, i dont hate her 

she wasnt the best sister to my mom but there were good things she did for her,

she babysat me quite often when i was a baby.

when she was around my age she was studying law, and soon she became mathematics teacher

not sure how those 2 aligned but it did, somehow.

her husband was horrible, she had 2, actually.

week ago, she was on call with my mom 

she wanted to talk to me 

she sounded,

she sounded unlike herself

she was an angry person before,

she was funny

and like most people she had her uniqueness to her voice

that distinct rumbly tone,

slightly high pitched

i could recognize her if she called out to me now, 

the cancer was sucking the life out of her and best i could do was reassure her,

she had injury and it wasn't healing up quite well and she sounded hopeless 

i did some research and it was possible for her to heal,

despite all she believed my words,

even if it didnt come true, it bought her moment of hope, i believe...

she sounded tired but after the call she was laughing 

just like the way she laughed when she was 50 something and i was 10

i still remember everything

the times we shared, 

we werent important factors of our lives but 

it was special in a way

i forgot the way when cereals would remind me of her

i forgot the way when coffee from that shop reminded me of her

now that i remember,

i still think about classes we had, the building we were in, just yesterday i was thinking about it.

i wouldnt have imagined this ending, she was so healthy back then.

one time, she told me how much she loved doing math's

i found it beautiful, and i never forgot

when i mentioned about how much she loved doing math's on the last call we had and i told her that she should keep doing what she loves, something in her tone shifted, just like how she sparked when she spoke about her passion for math, back then. she sparked, like dying flame preforming its final act.

today around 9:30 am she died, doing what she loved to do the most. 

on the table there was that same old math's book she used to carry around, her wooden pencil that i still remember the smell, and that pen she had. i like that pen, i have it too because i liked her's so i bought it for me when i was in high school

our last meeting, last class was the time when i was in 12th grade. just like good old days.