yearning has come to an end !!!!

so funny how i posted a couple months ago about wanting someone so badly that doesn't just want me for sex.... well bruh i found it, there is indeed hope that it gets better :P

after making that post, i started a new job and ended up getting close with a coworker that i've technically known since kindergarten but haven't really ever spoken to until now. so it's like, we have all the stories to share because we've literally went to all the same schools and had similar teachers and know the same people but we just never talked cuz he was in the year above me T^T

dating a coworker seems scary, but i honestly don't really think of him as a coworker because i didn't actually work a proper shift with him until we had actually already started going out on dates ^^ we've been officially dating since the 28th of january i believe? but i kinda just count us as being together since we met each other, because we've always kinda had feelings and such.

it's so crazy, when i first talked to him at our interview, i thought oh he's so cute but i don't think he's interested, he keeps avoiding talking to me and won't really look at me. but then we started training together, and he works on floor as a food runner, whilst i'm a griller, so every time i'd catch a glance at him running meals, he'd have a cute little smirk and it just made me feel so giddy, it still does whilst we're on shift together :)

i asked him about our interview and he just said he though i was so pretty he felt embarrassed looking at me lots so he was trying to make it look like he wasn't attracted to me LOL. it's so weird to think that we've went from being to shy to speak to each other, to him driving me home from my late shifts, cuddling in his bed and watching breaking bad together (which is actually so good, i've been putting off watching it for years but that's our show now...) it's just so strange to feel so comfortable with a person, i was so scared to commit before, but now i'm here and sometimes it does get scary, but it's okay because i speak to him about it and he does everything he can to help me feel better. he makes me feel so good, and it's nice, even if we aren't insanely similar, it's cool how i show him things and he shows me things we've never known and i speak so much he just loves listening and it's cool. it's cool being off the internet and not having the constant headache of "3 month rule" "honeymoon phase" "rose tinted glasses", these things don't exist and every course of every human connection is imperfect and perfect in it's own ways, as long as someone makes you happy and treats you with respect, then it's okay to wobble and not agree all the time, just communicate and it'll be where it needs to be.

so yea, i get that nobody really wants to read this but i just wanted to share my happiness and these past few months have been so good to me, not just because of my partner, but life, friends, hormones, everything has been so kind and i can wholeheartedly say that this year has been great so far! (touch wood) i have had some hard times but quite literally nothing compared to what i've experienced in prior years.