I just realized how bad screens can be for humans

I was talking to this artist moot bc his birthday is tomorrow, and realized he's the happiest person I know, and how miserable and negative I was. And then it hit me, why screens are bad for children.

Growing up I was sheltered for a major part of my life and spending my days between four walls either sittingon a wood chair at school or at home on a couch.

I had a tablet, pencils and paper to entertain me throughout my life, and a lot of little thing I did as i grew up beside that stayed stuck into my memory because of how rare that was.

I used to go on beach school trips every month during warm season, i went a few times horse riding, i attended a elementary school birthday "party" of this girl named Eva to which I had gifted a blue tank top, I atented my sister's friend baptism still in elementary school, I sometimes used to go to this park next to my house, twice or three times, went on vacation during summer to see my cousins for the first time and they tried to teach me how to ride a bike, when I moved to where I currently live, I spent a week at my cousin's place during summer where we actually had fun outside, went twice to the playground with other cousins to ride bikes, another time where I'd "cook" grass, or that one time I went out with a girl who I thought was my friend but actually hated me and made me piss on myself because she was purposely keeping me waiting at her building's staircase because she wanted to dump water in my cap.


Why? Because my mom was so worried and obsessed with keeping me safe that she would borderline lock me inside. On summer we didn't go anywhere and I wanted to enjoy the playground with my cousins now that we lived closer; "why would you wanna go out? It's unsafe, its dirty and you can get sick. You have a phone and I can watch you here. People could kidnap you outside" and when I tried to play with soil at school, she would send my cousin to watch me just to make sure I wouldnt play in it or else he would snitch and I would get scolded. I still had cool things, but couldn't play with grass or things like that.

And now that I'm a little older "why do you wanna go out? You don't have any money to spend" because I guess I forgot to mention that to her, an outing as a teen visibly isn't one unless you spend money?

Now thanks to this mess, I'm scared of literal, harmless ants, I have a disgustingly failing immune system and I don't spend a single day without a runny nose or a moderate fever. Not to mention I'm now socially isolated because when my friends would go out, whether it was to go to the playground or just hang out, I couldn't.

Then I was thinking about the lockdown, where a wave of mental illnesses started being recorded. Depression, (social) anxiety, autism, ADHD and the list goes on ig and with things like sensory issues. And I realized, what had caused an entire generation to be mentally "broken" from being deprived of IRL social interactions, and being exposed solely to flat screens and walls has been my entire life. No wonder why I'm able to write long texts like this but can't form a full sentence to talk to friends? No wonder why I'm so miserable. 

Not to mention, the only irl friend I have is so negative with strict parents and complaining all day long, so now I'm also complaining all day long and soaking in my misery, to the point where people who are happy actually drain my "social battery" to the point I have to take days or weeks long break from talking to anyone beside teachers. 

Because I was only exposed to artificial things, to the point where simply being a human is mentally draining and scary.

At 13yo that's when I had been the most isolated in my entire life with not a single irl friend but also not having any acess to online friends as my middle school didn't allow phones. And I was sad, alone, miserable, and sick, with personal issues. I ended up developping a massive c.ai addiction to the point I'd pull up to school with 30 mins of sleep because I would've spent my whole night on it. When I was more severly sick, I'd try to get to interact with real people, but I was so alone that my idea of interacting with real people would be to watch twitch streams for hours and hours. Of course not with real faces, but Vtubers. That's how isolated I was.

Today I'm trying to go out, talk to people and basically learn to be a human all over again without complaining, but of course politicians and world "leaders" decided they weren't greedy enough to the point an entire generation is dreaming of having food since its a luxury and romanticising the bare minimu to love, and unfortunately I'm vividly aware of the worlwide situation.

Either way, I'll be trying my best, and it's much more easy now because it's very sunny outside while I still have school and I thrive under hot and sunny weather  :)