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i dont rlly know how to start this but i just need a place to get it out yk
i've been thinking for a while , like maybe a few months [2 - 3?] that i might have the tiniest littlest crush on this guy im friends with . but the issue is i have a boyfriend already and im not even sure that he'd be into me in that way yk
just for some background context my current partner is incredibly difficult to deal with and has been taking a huge toll on my mental health, and effecting said friend along with it since he [my bf] doesn't really like him. at all. for zero reason , mind you ,,
but back to the topic - he's been there for me a lot, like way way more than my actual boyfriend and he's a lot more understanding and open to discussing things with me and never makes me feel forced or uncomfortable , in general he's just a great person and super sweet and caring
we've been friends for lil' over a year and i genuinely love his company and i get so excited and joyous when he texts me , even if it's just stupid shit or to say goodmorning / goodnight
i haven't really thought of him in this way up until recently cause of yk already having a relationship but now that it's going sour and showing little to no chance of improving i'm starting to see the differences in how they treat me and to be honest , i prefer the way he treats me.
i feel wanted and loved and actually accepted for who i am and it's such a nice feeling i haven't had in a while , he always asks me about things im passionate about and seems actually interested in it , it's nothing crazy but it means a lot to me
idk i feel like i cant help it but i just find myself going back to read our messages when we're telling each other how much we mean to one another and i just get so giddy and i cant stop smiling ,,
i can tell he actually cares about me , actually likes me for who i am and not just bits and pieces of my personality and it makes me so happy.
i genuinely do admire him , in ways i cant explain with words and i dont know what i would do without him. he's helped me through so much and i try to do the same. he makes me wanna be a better person ,,
i don't think i'll ever end up confessing tho ,, i dont wanna ruin our friendship or seem like a fucking creep who takes any bit of respect and mutual enjoyment and turns it into something more
im hoping it'll go away eventually and just be a joke for the future but i am SOO fucking cooked
thats it tho ,,, just needed to like . say ts somewhere before i went insane and i am NOOTTTT getting my ass on reddit
it's so painfully obvious LMFAOO i should've used a throw-away account or something but even then , i feel like it would've been suspicious either way so fuck it
update; im FREE !!!! I LEFT HIS ASS YESTERDAY !!!!! WOOHOOOO i'm so much happier already holy shiittt
- 3/15/26
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summerforever
first off, get the fuck out of that relationship family, that is def not doing you any good, i think before focusing on homeboy -- focus on getting out of that toxic relationship.
i currently am trying, I'm not really the type of person to just up and leave unless it's under specific circumstances , but with his lack of awareness and blatant disregard for me unless I'm appealing to his perception of me I've come to the realization that I will HAVE to leave him eventually !
only issue is he's incredibly sensitive and tends to turn to SH as a coping mechanism during stress situations and I've had to talk him out of it [to put it lightly] the first time we got into an argument.
[mind you, it wasnt even over something serious .. it was just art. so I dont know how he'd react to a break up ,,]
i plan on giving him one more chance and if that doesn't work out then I will leave :- ) thank you for the concern and the advice !
by borgor wit no honey mustar :- (; ; Report
alright family, i hope ur doing good!!
by summerforever; ; Report
same to you !! ^_^
by borgor wit no honey mustar :- (; ; Report
Bi ᝰ.ᐟ
the title of this did make me chuckle (im sorry). but, to give you my two cents, you need to have a conversation with your partner. as hard as this seems, if you bring up the problems that you're having, and discuss what you need in your relationship, maybe the crush on your friend will start to fade.
im slightly suspecting that the crush is manifesting based on the subtle comparisons you've been making between how your friend is treating you in comparison to your current boyfriend. perhaps that lack of warmth within your current relationship is making you cling romantically to your friend. (just a theory, the only person that will ever know is you!)
i really wish you well, there's no problem in ending a relationship that doesn't suit you anymore. and it's okay to develop feelings for someone you have a deeply caring relationship with. i hope everything turns out peachy xx :P
hi ! thanks for the advice but just for some clarification on my current relationship, I have indeed tried fixing it multiple times over the past several months [I'd say 5 ish], while my boyfriend has showed zero signs of improvement and has just flat out stated he "can't change" because , as a direct quote, "change just isn't for me, yk?"
[might make a seperate post later to just clear up some things for more clarification]
if I'm being honest I don't think I'm intentionally ''comparing" them , it sorta just crossed my mind with everything going on lately and with my partner being such a liability [not to sound harsh] and my hb helping me realize I can and should do better for myself with relationships I guess it sorta just came naturally
again thank you for the advice but I'm afraid I've already tried it :, )
by borgor wit no honey mustar :- (; ; Report