March 3, 2026

I've spent most part of my life regretting the way I lived it. I wish I have lived it in many different ways.

Before 2020: I regret not asking (not being interested) for extra classes, like music and quit all the sports I was ok with. Also not making more friends or noticing earlier there was something wrong with me, it would have helped a lot.

Embrace the"weirdness", kinda like contradictory from the last thing mentioned but I just would have been better.

2020: To start with, not cut off all my friends, I was 12 and sick of something but I really needed some friends back them but ran away from the ones I had. There's no o much to say about this year but mainly is that I waisted a lot of time. I could have start losing weight, learn something, discover new good stuff and trying to make money out of something for real. Also shave my head lol. The same goes to 2021 in short.

2022-2023: Trying more stuff about my style or at least wear two pig tails most days. I really left go big chances in middle school due being to scared of my parents, and people in general; I didn't went to the graduation or the camp, I didn't participate in any activity. I really should have took this chance to come out of my bones and try to talk, also to be a better friend. Finally to be brave enough to say that poem, that poem placed the first stone for my academic downfall. Also start losing weight. I just should have tried harder, but I don’t know how to do that.

2023-2024: This was a kind of a bad year for me (imposible year). Mainly cause of the school situation, but only talking a bit louder when I girl said hi to me in the bathrooms would have made it more easy going, I really regret not doing that. Plus I left my academic decline keep dragging me down down, and now I kinda regret it cause all the bonus points would be so useful now. Now going to the biggest regret is not sticking to that girl for the next semester, or not talking earlier about my own interest, it really fucked me up to be all alone again. 

About him, obviously, I don’t exactly regret it but I wish i could get the chance to do things the right way and not so creepy. Like I think we could’ve been good friends but I was a creep. I just really had a bad time you know? I was stupid and depressed that made nostalgic of better (still no good) times. It really lead me to try something on my birthday night, it didn’t work tho, that’s how I’m writing this.

2024: Again for the following semester I didn’t stick to her, and I think I should have. I didn’t have a bad time the second half. It’s just that I could have been better, I specially could have been better. Maybe not selling the boy out for another one who didn’t want it, maybe just being nicer to him. And lose weight.

2025: God I was such a loser this year! Actually I have been such a loser most part of my life! I should have tried to talk to more people so now I would not be stuck, I could have been a better friend and a better whatever I am. And lose weight.

I’ve made so many plans and had so many dreams through my life. Never fulfilled any of them, never did anything at all! Nor bad or good. I’ll probably keep making regrets all my life. In two years I’ll regret what I didn’t today and so on and on.

I’m not hopeful about things changing, that would be stupid. But I’m stupid anyway. 

At lest I hope this to work somehow.