'ONE, TWO, SKIP A FEW?!' SKIP YOUR ASS TO HELL!!

hi, denizens of spacehadroncollider.

do i talk very much about school? i don't think i do, and there is a REASON for that.
it doesn't make navigating my mental illness ridden unlife very easy, that's why.
and thus, i hate talking about it. it just seems like every time i become accustomed to something, it gets changed. what does this have to do with school, you may ask?

for example. last week, apparently, a fight broke out between some stupid underclassmen. but y'see, the way they did is was that they went out to the football stadium during a study hall to duke it out. so now, none of us can go to other classes during study hall.
which is just WONDERFUL, because i eventually started going to my amazing theater teacher's classroom to chill and maybe even get some work done during study hall, because all the people in my current study hall are loud.
and if not loud? then DEAFENINGLY silent. 
and neither is good.
i just need a space where i can think and talk to myself, and perhaps lay down when i feel so sad i can't bear to sit up. but of course, one bad apple spoils the bunch, and we can't have anything nice because of a few stupid kids.

and y'know, lately i've been really depressive (i know, what's new?). just FULLY out of it in the mornings, unable to move much more than turning off my alarm because if i leave it running, my parents will complain. i take the bus, but because i haven't been able to move out of sheer exhaustion, i've had to have my relative drive me there. each morning. and sometimes, i've been fully late. usually i would make it just before the bell rang, but i've had quite a few tardies before 1st period. 
and so today, i got a little letter at an already horrible time.
a warning that i have "excessive 1st period tardies,"
and that 5 of them leads to an absence in that period. 
truthfully, i don't know how this is supposed to encourage anyone to come to school or fix truancy, other than by force. it makes me feel horrible on top of the already numb & empty feelings i get. what's worse is that they have this really stupid edict in place that converts tardies to absences if there's five of them, AS IF those at all convert accurately. if you aren't in a seat by 7:00AM sharp then you're counted tardy unless your teacher has enough human decency to be chill with you. 
and GUESS WHO HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO SHOW UP QUIIIITE ON TIME TO 1ST PERIOD ^0^!!

like come to think of it, our school (if not general area) has hired some ableist pieces of shit. if you go to them having any kind of difficulty with school and tell them "hey i've got quite a few undiagnosed disorders under my belt that make it hard to attend school do ya think you could cut me some slack and give me acommodations" then an administrator will GENUINELY start talm bout some "well you don't NEED any Special Education classes" (this happened to my fiance).
and that's! not all!!!
they'll send your ass STRAIGHT to an institute if you're reportedly suicidal or are talking to a social worker about it, and apparently the last lady here that was a guidance counselor does NOT understand how redacting information for a kid's safety works. at ALL.
the teachers will just PREY off of a student's perfectionism if they don't care. i'm speaking from STRAIGHT experience, being in STEM fueled my drive to work until i physically couldn't keep myself awake AND my toxic masculinity.

for my and others' safety i will not namedrop any teachers or my school, seeing as i've honestly said enough. but this school GENUINELY sucks. i have no love or admiration for it, no 'school spirit,' no NOTHING. i've said it several times in front of our principal who happened to be in the hallway, i hate this school. the teachers are bad enough, save for a SELECT few, and they cannot handle children in a way that actually helps them if they fall behind academically. the most you get is credit recovery. it is a miracle i got this far, and it is entirely dependent on the people i hold close to me, with all due respect. the teachers that are actual good people and continue to be that way deserve good graces.

moral of the story?
FUCK my high school in particular i don't even have anything funny to put here