Asceticism or hedonism

I feel like I've been loosing my faith

To explain my religious beliefs shortly I believe that every single god exists in a way. A "god" being conscious manifestation of what they represent. I also believe in egregores and spirituality. I currently have an altar for Dionysus and Eros yet I feel as though I am loosing my connection to them and a quite hedonistic philosophy I had within my beliefs. I am thinking of worshipping the gnostic god because disconnection from the flesh feels decent however I am an awfully materialistic person too at core even if I put a lot of things above it. For example our earth, food, and even bonding and art are material in some level right? And yet I feel into all of those things. I am however still not sure whether or not I should just "let go" of my worship surrounding paganism and whether I believe in gnosticism fully or not. In fact while growing up I've thought asceticism was respectable however awfully wasteful of life. Though now it might be my personal mental health that makes me feel this way but the idea of disconnection from the flesh in multiple ways seem more idealistic to me. I feel a need to worship honestly so if you're here to offer me to go agnostic(Even though I am more of an agnostic theist)/atheist please spare me your comments in the least rude way as possible.

What is your experience with it? Are there any gods you'd offer I look into for worship? Do you find living a life closer to hedonism or asceticism better? Please let me know.