IDK WHAT TO DO PLSSS HEELLPPP MEEEE!!!!!

OKAY SOO I'M A REALLYYYYYYY REALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY EXTROVERT PERSON WHO CAN'T BE QUIT NOT EVEN 0.5 S SOOO I TALK A LOOT AND YAP YAP FOORR THE WHOOOLEEEEEEE DAAAYYYYYY AND THE DAY IS WHEN I GO TO SCHOOL I FEEL SOOOO EXCITEDDD AND FULL OF ENERGY BEC THERE IS A LOTT OF PPL THERE SO I CAN YAPP TILL I PASS OUT I FEEL A LIFE BUT AT HOME I'M SO EMO SO DEPRESSED INTROVERT I DON'T TALK TO MY PARENTS OR ANYYYONEE IDK WHY I'M MENTIONING THIS BUT IT'S OK THE THING IS I HAVE A BSF LET'S NAME HER "ROSE" OKAY SOOO ME AND ROSE HAD KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE GRADE 5 AND I LOVEEEEEDDDDDDDD HEEEEEEERRRR SSSMMMMMMMM (UNTIL NOW) I WAS SUUPPPERRR KIND AND LOVELY TO HER UNTIL GRADE 8 SHE STARED TO CATCH FEELINGS FOR ME AND WHEN SHE TOLD ME I EXCUSED MYSELF AND I TOLD HER THAT WE STILL CAN BE BEST FRIENDS AND I SMILED AT HER AND KISSED HER CHEEK GENTLY BUT WHEN I GOT HOME I CRIED MY SOUL OUT I WAS SOOOOOOOO TERRIFIED TO LOSE HER AS BSF SOOOOOO I CRIED A LOOOTTT AND ON THE OTHER DAY I TREATED HER A LIKE PRINCESS SO SHE CAN'T FEEL THAT SHE DID SMT WRONG BUT SUDDENLY SHE STARTED IGNORING ME WHEN SHE GOT A BF SHE DIDN'T TALK TO ME FORR MONTHS!!!! ONLY WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM AND THEN SHE GOT ANOTHER BF AND NOW SHE IS IGNORING ME AGAIN MY OTHER FRIENDS SAY THAT SHE LOVES ME BEC OF THE ATTENTION THAT I GIVE TO HER NOT ME AND I THINK THIS IS TRUE AND THERE ARE A LOOOTTT OF BAD THINGS AND NOW I FEEL LIKE HATING HER SM BUT STILL LOVING HER IDK WHAT TO DO.........