shitty writing

i miss the way i thought you liked me

i miss the way my heart skipped a beat when i first saw you, i miss the excitement of when you were the first to talk to me, i miss the way you poked fun at me paired with banter, i miss those kisses on the cheek that were to close to my neck, i miss that stupid voice note of you rapping to me, i miss the way your eyes would look at me with your mouth slightly open, i miss that party when you blew smoke into my face, i miss how close our faces were that night yet you only blew kisses at me when we parted, i still keep the bracelet you made me for my birthday, i hate the fact i showed how vulnerable i could be, i hate the way you knew you could use me without having to touch me, i hate how you looked the other way the last time we saw each other, i hate you for distancing yourself from me only because there is no longer a romantic vision, i hate how i still wanted to be friends with you.

but mostly, i hate how i know i never actually liked you