Tired

I'm tired of hurting the people I love with the things I initially thought were okay.

Every joke I make, every action, I'm never aware when i need to be

The word sneaks up on me like cat to a mouse, balloon to cacti and I keep letting it happen.

I'm tired of the way I am, the way I treat others when my mind neglects it.

I feel sick to my stomach learning that my lack of acknowledgment puts another nail in the coffin and it hurts.

I want to be better, I strive for it but how can I if its an reoccurring spiral?