Need Help, how do I tell my friend this?

Hii! So I wanted to ask for some advice.

Ok, so last year I was in a really bad place and a lot of things happened. The thing is, I never told anyone.

I don’t have a lot of friends and my mind convinced me that my stuff would a annoy and bother them if I said anything.

Thanks to this thought (and other things) I was really lonely, therefore all my progress is a product of my own (+ MCR lol). Since I’m better now I feel like I’m ready to talk about it.

Asking for help is always hard, but it used to be easier. The problem starts because I was in a toxic relationship that made think that my problems were “annoying” (she lit said that I used to be annoying when I was depressed). The fact that the only people who I talked to distanced from me only made it worse.

I’ve kind of soft launched to my bff that last year was rough, but she never asked further questions and I guess I’m still afraid to say something and ruin the mood.

Despite this, I want to talk about it SO much. I feel like it’s buried deep in my lungs and I can’t breath properly until I do it. I guess I also feel some kind of guilt for not doing it. Not 100% sure why tho.

Don’t take me wrong. My bff is an angel and she’ll support and listen to me. I know that. Not sure why my brain doesn’t let me. Or it doesn’t know how, to be honest. So that’s what I need help for.

How do I talk to her about it?

How do I start the conversation?

How do I bring it up without ruining a whole hangout?

Also I would prefer to do it in person because I don’t want to leave the text as “proof” (I’m paranoid, I know, but my parents could see it)

Sorry if my grammar is bad, English isn’t my first language.