Being Observant is Miserable

While observing and putting pieces together is what's probably best for someone in the end, I just can't stand how it feels. My success with this in the past makes me far too cautious with people.

Everything begins with something, and I just always catch on to it, so soon. Sometimes I think being oblivious would just be so much easier. Stop worrying over things (even when they're obviously happening) and just live.

I think the worst part is that I don't say anything when I realize. So then, I make this personal laundry list of things I've caught someone doing, saying, or anything... And it just gathers in my head. I don't know if anybody around me really knows how I perceive them, because I don't outwardly let it change anything. It's all just personal thoughts and opinions in my head because the confrontation kills my mental.

I think I've been forcing myself to be oblivious, really. Outwardly, that is. I can forget in the moment. But then I'm separated and think, put things together, realize. But I can't ever speak it.

Yet I also run after my own trouble. If I don't know something, I always figure it out, leaving me to ask myself "if you want to be oblivious, why do you make the effort to be the complete opposite?" and I have no idea. I conflict myself in so many ways, constantly. 

Do any of you have tips, or experiences like this?

 I suppose what I'm looking for is just a voice of reason. What do I need to do? What is the balance between observation and obliviousness? Can I really do anything about it, is this just my nature?