A new chapter in my life begins

Well I'm free. It's insanely relieving when you finally get out of a relationship that's been draining you both physically and mentally. Yesterday I finally broke up with my now ex boyfriend. To me this is a accomplishment because I have never left someone before and this relationship was insanely toxic. He made me feel like I couldn't live without him and for a time I believed it. He tried separating me from my family, making it seem it was their fault we were having relationship troubles. All my friends I had back in high school all are gone because no one liked him. This may be cruel but he was like a parasite on my life. Constantly destroying the good things I had. Always talking shit about my friends, my father (my only provider) and even me. A couple months back we broke up for a short time period and that's when I realized, that I did not need him to live. There is so much better out there. I grew to love myself more. I learned that I did not need to depend on a man. He always made me feel like I needed someone to depend on when in reality I don't. He used my biggest insecurities against me. To make it seem like it was an award that a person like him could love me. I firmly believe that he's just obsessed with me.  The other opportunities I used to have to be able to leave him he would start sweet talking me and act as though he's a yearner. Always saying how he now realizes I'm his first love or that he could never love another person the same way he loved me. If that were the case why did he treat me so rash? Why try to seclude me from my family and friends? Why call me stupid when you're upset?? Be upset that I defended my father when you were shitting on him? When he finally decides to change it was too late. I was emotionally done. I was always "busy". Little things he would do would just irritate me. I knew I needed to end it when he aske to meet up and hangout. I couldn't pretend or lie to myself anymore. I was just done. 

This part might be kind of strange but I just want to say that I feel as though Phainon from Honkai Star Rail really helped me out a lot. Especially with realizing that I deserved better so I'm really grateful for him. He means so much to me not only as a character but as someone who helped me most when I really needed it. I just wanted to talk about this since I don't have anyone else to say this to. Consider this as my final thoughts and final goodbye. I'm very proud of myself for finally letting go. This is a pretty long blog so if you are nosey enough and read the whole thing thanks so much!! Remember to love yourself and know you're worth it!!