The ending of this otherwise amazing creepypasta completely ruins it

I just watched Davis Morgan's video r/nosleep's controversial author and one of the stories really stood out to me: The Tall Dog. (spoilers ahead) 

The story follows a father and daughter who are grieving the death of their mother and wife. The Daughter starts having nightmares and tells her father that she's being stalked by "The Tall Dog," which he of course doesn't believe at first. By the end of the story, the "Tall Dog" reveals itself to the father before stealing his daughter's soul and leaving her as an empty husk. 

The monster is clearly a metaphor for unchecked grief. Throughout the story the dad is trying his absolute best to raise his daughter but has no idea how to address her grief when it comes to her dead mom. The writing really gets you into the head of the main character in a beautiful way. You feel how he feels very strongly. You really want this family to be okay and to be safe from this monster once it reveals itself at the end. 

My issue is with the very end. The story implies that OP is about to kill his own daughter. It just completely takes me out of it. The way it's worded is so painfully cliche and out of character him. After spending this whole story getting to know the father who loves his daughter so deeply and has fought so much for her, the idea that he would kill her after she loses her mind is completely unbelievable. Especially since he is very clearly framed to partially be blaming himself for not properly addressing her grief. 

It's a very upsetting story, in a good way. It's a horror story, after all. What this father and daughter go through is heartbreaking and painful to read about. When the Tall Dog finally appears, you are rooting for the dad to protect his daughter, and you are deeply afraid for her. So for him to do a complete 180 and kill her once she's gone insane feels like cheap shock value compared to the rest of the story which is really deep and emotional. 

watch the video or read the story and tell me what your thoughts are on this. I didn't particularly like the nihilistic monologue at the very beginning either but the story itself was good enough that i completely forgot about it. Then the total cop-out ending made me remember, oh yeah, this is the guy that wrote Tommy Taffy. 


4 Kudos

Comments

Displaying 2 of 2 comments ( View all | Add Comment )

soupferret

soupferret's profile picture

I actually don't mind the ending, I just think it was way too abrupt. I really wish the story had gone on a little longer, and built up to op killing Heather rather than ending with a short shock.

I think it would have been a lot less jarring if op's spiral was portrayed clearer, but I don't think it was too out of character. Like, after he's tried everything he can think of, he gets to the point where it's just too painful to see Heather become so devoid of life.

I didn't particularly enjoy his nihilistic rambling either, but if that's how he was thinking at that point in time then at least to me it makes sense why he'd do that after becoming certain that the husk he's forced to live with and care for is no longer his daughter.

Another thing to note is that he's shown to be prone to paranoia and sudden flurries of intense emotion, which I think contributes to the ending.

He starts off with this whole "hope is a lie" spiel, and ends the story extinguishing the last ray of hope in his life after his wife's passing. From the start I suspected - and sort of hoped - that Heather would die or something life changing would happen to the both of them, because during the beginning that's just what I thought would make sense thematically.

Sorry for the rant (ᵕ ´ᗜ`) I really like creepypasta if you uh couldn't tell ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)


Report Comment



totally! the ending definitely could've been pulled off way better with the way you describe. I just think the way it's worded is particularly cliche ("whatever that thing is, it isn't my daughter") and it seems to come out of nowhere. Also, who says killing Heather is the only way this story can end? personally I think it would've been more affective if OP had lost his mind and completely lost his ability to function as a human in society, similar to how she did.

But yeah, I totally see what you mean. I still think a different ending would've been better but I'm sure the canon one could've worked too, just with better execution.

by TimeGnosis; ; Report

Definitely not the *only* way it could have ended, I just meant that Heather being killed was the ending I thought would be most satisfying if written well.

For a short story/creepypasta I think it did its job very well (especially in comparison to a lot of the malarkey often posted to r/nosleep) and that it really just chalks up to the fact that the writing throughout the story was very, um, rough - with the ending mirroring that.

That's definitely not to say that I thought the writing was bad, it was just written very simply in what was probably an attempt to keep it short AND befitting of the first-person r/nosleep stories. I honestly don't think the ending was all that poorly written in comparison to the rest of the post, because the language (in my opinion) was pretty juvenile all the way through.

by soupferret; ; Report

I just wanted to add that if it had ended with op losing his mind, I don't really see how he could've typed up such an in depth retelling of the events.

Considering this was written for r/nosleep, every post has to be a first person encounter and they go BANANAS if you break character I swear so it just wouldn't have worked (。ᵕ ◞ _◟) I do like the idea for a genuine creepypasta though

by soupferret; ; Report

HauntOrBeHaunted

HauntOrBeHaunted's profile picture

Love Davis Morgan!


Report Comment



Me too, much like everyone else.

by TimeGnosis; ; Report