21/02/26

hhhhh... okay, I've got the two dergs I need for the first third of the XXX Spruce project (producing an XXX Spruce hatchling) and since this is a project that I can't work on every day, it won't burn away my savings. I'm almost finished gening Sam and Kel. I've gotten one gene on Fireworks (my new years themed G1 hatched on Jan 1st). I'm finding joy in my "generic" dragons again. I feel like there's a lot of pressure on this site to gene up G1s but really I just wanna have my silly spruce legion, my dragons that I can turn into ocs, and my fandragons. The other two portions of the spruce legion project are finding another pair that'll make a spruce baby (and aren't related to my first pair) and having them hatch an xxx spruce dragon the opposite sex of the first one, then gening the two xxx spruces. I was thinking Lionfish/Toxin/Firefly but someone already has that pair they're breeding and idk I don't wanna get dragged into "YOU COPIED MY DRAGON I HATE UOU!!!1!!11" type drama. Especially since that person is selling that combo at 175g/kt and I'm fine with mine going for 20g/kt and I just. don't wanna be sabotaging their business. Not out of guilt but out of the social repercussions like man I don't want my consciousness to be preoccupied with dragon game I use to relax and I don't want dragon game I use to relax to be a source of stress. I'll find another combo and probably just buy one of their xxx spruceys... they look so cool,,

dysphoria is hitting hard but I've been researching T and honestly I think my parents just need time to adjust. Give it a year or two. I'm worried if I wait the laws will change and they'll ban HRT for everyone under 25 or some dumb shit like that or my state will lose funding but we stay spiralin and flightrisin' ! I may be having a poor time mentally but also I'm really cool so who even careeesssss