Whats mine (?)(...)

Recently I have been...

creating an artifical sense of ownership, authority, of having control.

all to hide the fact as a human i truly am nothing and its a fact not negativity.

i think that i obssess so much over certain aspects to make up for the lack of consistency irl

To create a sense of 'that is mine' i need to put my blueprint all over it

evidence that i was there.

this is easier done online since your sense of identity is solely based on how you present yourself.

But irl, there is no such thing as instant satisfaction,

you are stuck waiting until you get to the level you want.

this is probably why i hate loading screens.