Blank Page Reflection

Yeah i again share too much personal notes but no one reads it anyways so here we go:

Today feels like the apogee of my inner fragmentation, or rather, of anemia. I woke up and realized that I absolutely want nothing. There are no thoughts in particular, and even less desire. Self-admonition seems inaccessible; that option isn't even on the table. All thoughts and initiatives seem to flicker out there, somewhere beyond the dome of anemia, boredom, and emptiness. They can't break through.

Well, it's not bad, just a different state. A different approach, so to speak. Another zone of interest, unstable, like a haze over water. I should go eat and brew a carafe of tea. I do have tasks for today, but I'm more than sure that all of them will be postponed until Monday, so screw it. I'll do the necessary minimum and crash to watch something. 

Although, it's not quite anemia. I'm like a blank sheet that isn't particularly eager to get dirty, and therefore views any fuss with skepticism, reflects, and asks questions instead of acting. Such days are very important - the old inertia of growth has ended, and a new one hasn't been created yet. The decisions you make determine whether you'll lose progress by slipping back into comfort or continue choosing growth despite the leakage of meaning and uncertainty. So, i will probably go do my homework(sike there is new political neurodegenrate slop dropped on the YouTube and I have to eat it ALL I mean no one have more interest in the American politics circus more then Russian teenagers at this point)