I was like this before i was born

guilt sits heavy on my chest when i wake up

a cat kneading directly into my soul

i dress in terrible feelings

eat my self-loathing

i punch my time card into the machine

and i am sorry for how long it takes me

im apologetic to those i care for

i feel bad for being

this guilt ive been burdened with

wasnt picked up along my walk

i force it down my throat 

and back out into the thin trash liner

i perform surgery on myself

to remove the guilt i was born with

find the source and ring the bell

but it lies deeper within

no amount of apologizing

not even thousands of subtractions

could remove the guilt im made of

it was me even before i was formed

i was many different numbers

and each and every one

was a year full of being sorry 

for not much at all