02/20/2026

I've been pretty depressed lately being alone like really and truly alone this time is getting to me. But I cant help but tell my self its an excuse that I am here sitting in the room I can barely walk in and its all because I am living life as if ill get another one when this one falls apart. I fantasize about running away and going somewhere anywhere. I fantasize about moments of peace and moments when I can turn to look others in the face without feeling shame or like I am forcing some type of act so that the people around me the people I don't know the people I am already convinced hate me that I am barrable to be around that I am barrable enough to invite the idea of me in their heads even if its for a split second. I feel useless. but of course I am doing this so that I don't have to do my homework or study because that's who I am a victim to no one but me its pathetic.