>"< University, Adult Life...

Hii, how's it going? I hope you're fine!

This week was a little overwhelming to me. Specially today.

So, I'm gonna give a sort of context: It's been 2 years since I left high school, and since then, I enrolled in a cheap college (it was EaD) and made some extra courses, not from the college. Those courses were really cool, I learned a lot about my professional current area (I'm a software developer).

So, I completed almost a semester in this college, but I wasn't able to persist because I work 8 hours per day. From 8h a.m until 5h p.m (but you can add the transport time, that's 1h30). This college must think that all the EaD students have plenty of free time because I had to read fifty pages of each subject for the exams, plus the VERY SPECIFIC assignments (from each subject) I had to do. The deadlines were too tight, so I needed to do everything at once.

Yesterday I opened the college portal to check my old lessons and %$*! I had done 3 types of databases AND the search commands WITH screenshots. Looking back, I don't know how I handled it.

I dropped out of college and now I feel behind. I understand that this college served as an experience, as well as it was not my fault. 

Yet, I still think that, even though I am working on my professional area, I WANT to study. And I want to attend a university this time! But it's too hard... In my country, we can only enroll in a university by an admission exam. The problem is that this exam is extremely HARD! People who choose Medicine as their major, for example, take the preparatory course for at least 7 years.  I've been planning to start paying a preparatory course to try it. I won't probably pass, but I'll try.

At the same time, I'm insecure about forgetting everything I learned in my professional area if I focus too much on the preparatory course. Or it can be even worse: I can forget how to speak English!

Actually, I made this blog to practice my writing skills and improve my vocabulary. It's been working, but I hope I don't feel overwhelmed haha.

Still, I feel overwhelmed because I have to deal daily with my 8h work, gym, studies after work, health, mental health, relationships, family, dog, future plans... 

I developed a kind of strategy to deal with all of this: I try to accept it, not care and pretend everything is ok until everything aligns (because it does).

That's dangerous whereas I can literally lose my humanity or get depressed (which I actually am). Adult life is suffocating. 

Thanks for reading till here! XOXO