give me what im owed.

I am a desire that can never be fed, so hungry from a thought or memory that ill never relive. 

as I child I cried for hours each time I was faced with the reminder that soon, life would pass me by and I would be left with just a remembrance of every now and then. that I would never fully be able to hold onto everything ive lived. it would drive me into states of madness. how dare death and old age not even ask me before if I would like to live forever! I would have said yes. 

I still don't understand it completely but I don't cry about it as much anymore. 

yet, I still feel a deep yearning inside of me that is so angry and jealous of a past self that was once able to completely live in a memory I can barely remember. 

it was me! my mind, my heart, my joy, why is it that I'm pulling at strings attempting to recall a time you found me worthy. 

I have grown from who I was then, but my heart stays. id like for it back now please.