Only the pictures in my mind can describe how I feel.

I feel like hurting some1 again, and I don't know what to do about, what do I do when I feel like I need to just stab someone in the face six times?? I should probably see a therapist again but all she did was play bored games and ask me about what I could do for coping mechanisms six times a session. The only good thing about it was I got to leave school early every Monday. I wanted to hurt my therapist too tbh. She pissed me off every time she talked 🤬 she treated me like a 9 year old 🔪  and then my mom would get mad Everytime I actually tried to talk to her, it's like.. what does she want from me?! Fuck my therapist, and my old principal 4 making me have to go to therapy 🤬 she didn't help, I feel I've only gotten worse, but now I know how to not get caught feeling this type of way. Last time it was because they read my fucking diary -- it was private, I was fine without therapy, literally all she told me to do was maybe get a diary to write down how I feel-- WHICH I DID. and I got in trouble for it 😡 and then the following weeks of school I had left, the councler only saw me ONCE when she was supposed to see me twice a week. The school councler btw. Instead, the last few days of school, she came to get me from the music room, then she saw one of the popular boys, and decided he should go first, and then she never came back to get me again. She said that I would need help a lot more, and then she fucking ignored me. Therapy and counting is stupid anyways, it's literally just paying someone to care for you and talk to you, I have friends for that, and I have pens and paper I can write my feelings down on without a middle aged bitch fucking whore woman reading them.