pls Say something idk

Ok guys, take a seat bc I think that this is going to be a long text.

Man, I have problems with my pride when it comes to liking other people's tastes. I normally don't like people's tastes, but when I do, I get too shy to show it and I did that all of my life. So now that I have sort of a partner, I am really trying to swallow my pride and tell him when I like his things. He has shown me games and musical artists, TV shows and stuff, and I have really enjoyed them maybe too much. Idk, I felt weird bc normally when I like something that someone else showed me, I just enjoy it in silence, but this time I wanted things to be different and for the first time in my life not being a pathetic clown, or a sigma who only likes niche things and discovered them herself bc I'm really not that person.

But I feel really far, like I only started to feel I was comfortable with his music because he was comfortable with mine. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but the day he wanted to show me an artist was the day I realized he had changed me. The day I realized the amount of comfort and peace I felt listening to music with him, I had never felt anything like it before. I realized that the shell I was hiding in didn't really feel as safe as just calmly playing some stupid Roblox Tycoon while listening to his music together bangers too acc. The fact that he showed me a video game that I liked so much that I bought it so we could play it together on my console when he came to my house... I was really starting to feel comfortable, but there are 3 factors that are making me feel terrible, and I don't know if I want to continue being a free fan of these things.

So to make things easier, I'm going to list them and talk about them one by one:

The name thing

My memories

What happened to that song :\

1. The name thing: I think this one is the stupidest of all my reasons for feeling bad, but it's still more present than it should be. I feel physically unable to say the names of characters, people, singers, objects, and anything else that has a name in general. When it's something I'm being taught, I feel too uncomfortable saying the names of people or characters I don't know. If it's my own topic, I can talk about names as if I had chosen them myself. But if you come up to me and say for the first time, "Look, this dog's name is Snoopy," I'm not going to say his name until I feel confident about what I know about the character. This has so much more backstory but I acc don't think it's that difficult to understand.

2. My memories: Ok, this one is a little bit more common. No matter how small the humiliation, I always remember it. If I tell you something about an artist and you make a joke about me being wrong in some way, I feel so uncomfortable. If I say a word, sound, movement, that someone says will stay in my mind until the day I die, and my brain will make sure I never forget about it. Even sometimes I think about the fact that I haven't been feeling that shyness and it sabotages me so that I remember a time when I felt ridiculous.

3. What happened to that song: This is kinda dumb to overthink like this, but I'm gonna say it. As much as I'm embarrassed to admit it, this man introduced me to an artist I liked, and I felt comfortable enough to add him to my playlists, post notes, or even put stories with the music, okay? A really stupid thing happened recently, and I feel like I'm overthinking it, which is why I feel like this problem shouldn't have such a long text, but thanks to that problem, now I can't stop thinking about when he told me, "This is partly your fault, I wouldn't have shown you anything."

Okay, I can handle feeling humiliated, but now a whole artist reminds me that thanks to the fact that for the first time in my life I tried to be freer and not feel bad because I have tastes that someone else taught me, now, besides feeling guilty, I can't listen to what I want because of my stupid memories. And I don't even know if I should feel bad, angry, or I shouldn't feel anything and I should stop overthinking things to the point where I can't listen to an entire artist just because the person who introduced me to the artist told me that he shouldn't have done that XD.

This is actually so stupid but i really need an opinión or nsm