Wtf am I supposed to do with my life.

Today I got called into my school's computer lab to apply for the cosmetology course at our college, if I get accepted I would start my junior year and graduate with a certificate and all that shit. However, I'm now realizing that I actually don't want to do this. Like obviously I've known that I was going into cosmetology since my 8th grade year, I've been on this pathway ever since I started public school, but I never actually wanted to do it, y'know? But I would feel bad if I were to back out now because my Grandma had bought me this $120 really thick book on everything cosmetology, even though I had already told her that I was only going into cosmetology as a back-up and that I actually wanted to go into something music related. What I truly want to do is make my own music, and as cringey as that sounds, that's literally been my dream ever since I could remember. I know that as someone who grew up in poverty, and still isn't that well off, I probably wouldn't end up being well known, but it's not about being well known. It's about expressing myself through music, showing my feelings and talent. But now I'm stuck here thinking about what I should do as a backup plan because producing music won't make me much money. I'm not all that interested in college, and I'm not all that book-smart either, I'm pretty average. Idk, it's just frustrating cause I know that what I actually want to do won't make me much money so I need something else, but there's nothing else that I'm interested in other than content creation and like, cosplay stuff, which aren't things that I could really make a job out of. I like writing, so I thought that maybe I could do something with that, but that just sounds like more of a chore, it would get boring. I also fall asleep easy when reading or writing, so that would be a problem.