musing of the day (02/18/26) (includes: a recent poem i read) (first blog entry!!!!!!!!!!)

no one's reading this blog lmfao but ANYWAYS here's a poem i read earlier this month in english class, and it might be one of my new favorites. in the spirit of (a belated) valentine's day, and the fact that i am heavily procrastinating on my gov project, i thought i'd share:

“In Defense of Adultery” - Julia Copus

We don’t fall in love: it rises through us

the way that certain music does –

whether a symphony or ballad –

and it is sepia-coloured,

like spilt tea that inches up

the tiny tube-like gaps inside

a cube of sugar lying by a cup.

Yes, love’s like that: just when we least

needed or expected it

a part of us dips into it

by chance or mishap and it seeps

through our capillaries, it clings

inside the chambers of the heart.

We’re victims, we say: mere vessels,

drinking the vanilla scent

of this one’s skin, the lustre

of another’s eyes so skilfully

darkened with bistre. And whatever

damage might result we’re not

to blame for it: love is an autocrat

and won’t be disobeyed.

Sometimes we manage

to convince ourselves of that.

my favorite line is "love is an autocrat." 

before even encountering this poem, i found myself believing it was true. that we are victims of love, enslaved by it. one doesn't choose to fall in love, it just... happens. sometimes even against your will. 

but after mulling this over for months on end, (and i almost hate to admit it) i don't. love may not be a choice but the pursuit of it is. if the love isn't productive (or if it's immoral), why engage with it? it's a matter of self-control, of discipline even. simply stating that it's out of your control is, and it pains me to say it, a cowardly way of absolving guilt. if love is an autocrat, then, as with any autocratic regime, there is a possibility of rebellion. sure, it may be hard, but it is possible.

re: the poem, i wonder whether Copus is actually defending adultery or not. reddit seems to be split (but no surprise there). in my opinion, the last two lines point to no.