Sort of vent? Gender, dysphoria, comphet

I as a trans man, feel like I have reverse comphet? (Compulsive heterosexuality). I want to fully transition into a man, live stealth, marry a women and have kids. I'm not attracted to women at all and iv known this forever. But I feel like if I marry a man 1. My family will think I'm fitting back into my female role and providing them right that I'm actually a women, therefore causing dysphoria. Or 2. Being a gay male while being stealth will also have my masculinity called into question. Gayness in its self is much harder to hide them transness. My dysphoria causes me to want to somehow prove myself to be a "real man" and follow all the masculine standards of society. I don't want to be seen as queer because if I'm seen as queer I'm somehow less of a man. I know this way of thinking is wrong, and I don't believe anyone should truly live by this, but I feel like I need to live this way. But I also know living that way and denying my true feelings towards men will kill me eventually. I think I'm dealing with internalized homophobia and trans phobia or something. 

Or I'm just going insane idk iv never met someone who's felt this way other than cisgender gay men.