Tell Me | A poem about my fears

Tell Me

Tell me you’ll still be here,

Once the true me runs free,

Once I’ve lost half of everyone I loved,

Tell me you’ll still be here.

Tell me I’ll still be here,

Once they all know the truth,

Once I’ve faced them all as myself,

Tell me I’ll still be here.

Because when I stop to think about it,

I start to doubt I’ll live past 35.

I wait for the worst and lose my sight.

Because when I listen to my prayers,

I notice I’m asking for too much, maybe too little.

Because when I stop to think about it,

I can’t speak, because tears clog my throat.

I can’t see anything past my feet.

I feel like the weak shell of a goddess ready to rise,

Only to be struck in the heart, killed by surprise.

As uncertain as my future feels,

Even though my past is so clear,

I want it to be by your side,

I want it to be something, anything.

As long as I’m alive, I can still be thankful.

Tell me you’ll still be here,

Once the true me runs free,

Once I’ve lost half of everyone I loved,

Tell me I won’t die.

For now.