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My Ex

I'm so frustrated lately because of my Ex just her existences taunts me. I've been suffering mentally because of it for months now and it sometimes gets better but then, I start spiraling in memories of the past again. It doesn't matter if it's about the good or bad things. It makes me feel really weak how can someone that isn't part of my life anymore still hurt me. I made a really big mistake lately and texted her again I know deep down that I still want her attention. I feel very guilty because I promised my best friend not to contact her, but she knew ab it happening and I didn't message my ex again. But my best friend was completely right I just ripped open old wounds. Very much unnecessary of me. I still feel responsible for her I want to protect her from her own actions. Why do I care so much for a person that did the worst things imaginable to me. I feel so pathetic knowing that I want her back by my side makes me feel guilty and disappointed of myself. It got so bad that I tried to cover those feelings with actions that relieve you temporarily but will leave scars forever. This whole situation just makes me feel helpless I've even tried to date another girl but I feel like it's unfair towards another person to date someone while not being at a good mental and emotional state. So I always stopped it before anything serious could happen. 


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hellokittyfarting

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The reason we often can't get over people that have hurt us, is because we project what it could have been like onto them. You're not in love with her nor are you attached to her as a person but rather to the idea of her. You think of what it could have been like if she didn't hurt you, of the good she made you feel before it took a turn. And that makes you forget how she treated you because you just crave that feeling again. Truth is, you won't ever feel good around her again. You can't save her. Plus you're 18. Seriously, don't waste your time stuck on one person.. there is so much more to life. It wounds weird but nothing is ever that deep. The more we talk about things, the sooner we start spiraling. Shift your mindset, stop consuming sad stuff on social media, talk about it less and it will fade. It won't ever go away fully but you will learn to live with it. And if you do the right choices, in a few years, it will all be forgotten. Be more positive and stay safe!


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