remembrance

You thought I don't know you but I do know you. As far as you've told me I do know you that much. You have told me you get possessive and irrational and you are afraid that I might not like that. But reality is I do like that and I'm fine with it. Completely fine. I am yours and will always be yk?. Just that November I was not in my head thinking straight and ended up hurting you with those words I typed. Again nothing I've said so far was a lie except for those hurtful words. 

You know something I've always wished for someone who's possessive and irrational for me. And it is you. I am sorry that I wasn't attentive at first. But now I am and I can prove it to you. Each day goes by I want to talk to you, interact with you... But I can't and won't Because you need space. I've put myself on your shoes and understand that you need space after all the damage I've caused with my accursed hands. I hope you can forgive me and love me again like you once did. I hope you know that I'll always reassure you and no matter who, I'll be always there who can be possessive and irrational for and I will never have any objection over it. You know I remember that day you clung to my arms introduced me to your friends... Made that handmade wonderful gift.... As if someone made diamond with their own hands... That gift is still one of the closest things to my heart. I will bring that to my grave. I remember when you let me hold your soft hands and I gently moved my fingers through your fingers... And you giggled and smiled... I remember the first head pat you gave me... Oh only I wish I could go back in time and prevent my horrible horrible incident. You are my first love and I don't want anyone else after you. I may not be your first, but I can be your best love. I hope I hope you don't leave me and find someone else. I may not be perfect but I try to be best for your sake. I want to hold you in my arms and gently run my hands through your hair while you lay on my lap one day. I want to comfort you and wipe away all your tears and pain when you cry. You are so so so pretty man idek who gave u the idea u arent :(. If i can find those fuckers i swear they can count sheeps while laying on a hospital bed. Ive been eyeing your pictures, I like every shape of your face, your lips, your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your forehead 🤭, your eyelashes, your seductive dark brown pupils, the shape of your eyes, the colour of your hair, its almost as if i can smell the beauty of your hair through the screen. I hope this nightmare ends soon :(