We always want what we don't have and why you should listen to yourself

We always want what we don't have

Have you ever thought about it? It's strange. It seems that we always want what we don't have.

In winter, when everything is cold, we want warmth from summer, but in summer when it get's too hot, we want to have the cold breeze of winter.

A girl with straight hair, wishes to have curls, which are much more interesting than her hair, but the curly haired girl wishes to have straight hair, which is easier to manage.

Same goes for hair length, gender (not talking about trans), work, school, everything you can think of, which a person could be unsatisfied with out of different reasons.

Why is it we thing the grass is greener on the other side?

... why you should listen to yourself

For me back when I was in school, I wanted to go out of it so badly. I wanted to work, to be what I imagined was "free". And I was happy, when I finally could get to work. And I really felt that freedom I was wishing for for so long. But my job was not right for me. It left me unsatisfied, and I realized something has to change. I got to university, studying a topic I didn't like. I chose it, because I got told I should learn something useful, do something useful. Useful for society from a workers perspective. 

During that time, I wanted to go back to work so badly, because it was better than what I chose to study. So I got back, realizing why I had gone in the first place. It took me a long time, to realize, that I should not listen what other people are saying, but rather listen to myself. So I started studying what I liked. I did not go back to my old job, but rather found a new one, which suited me better. Now I'm still studying, working part time. I have a lot of stuff to do, but it's okay. I never was the type of person, who could just work 9 to 5 and then do nothing. Sometimes I wish for a much simpler life, which would not burn me out so much, but that's just what I am made for. Some would say I'm a workaholic. Maybe I am. Some people are born the sheep, some the wolf.

Sometimes I think back. I know school was not the right environment for me, but sometimes I wish to go back in time. To get the feeling of coming home from school, being free to do what I want, no duties, no need to clean or cook and the long summer breaks. It really was a lot different from now. Maybe we tend to forget the bad, when we think about the past. All this nostalgia is leaving a sense of warmth, leaving me blind to the horrors which persisted back then.

But what I want to tell you is: 

Find what is right for you, and never stop searching. Don't listen to what other people think what is best for you. You know what is best for you.

And don't stress yourself out over the fact you might not know what suits you. It will show, if you keep on searching and trying out things. For a long time I stressed myself out over exactly this thing, feeling worried, hopeless, just straight up like a loser. Don't be so hard on yourself, if you feel like I did back then. Everything is alright. You got this.