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This will be different from the usual posts I make since I don't often talk about my feelings, atleast bit on the Internet ^^'
Its been a hell of a long time since I've been in a relationship and it's really weighed on my perspective of myself as a person. I want to set the record straight by saying I'm not like desperately lonely or inactive in my community, I have a huge group of awesome friends who would genuinely help me with anything at the drop of a hat
All this being said. I just don't know if I'll really find that special someone, I feel like I wiffed my chance at that a long time ago and now I'm just living with that constant reminder of what 'could' have been. At my core I know that all I want is someone that I can truly be my everything to and that I can know will be there no matter what, I don't plan to or want to give up hope especially considering how much time I have, but it just starts to weigh in you when you see everyone around you having made that connection and then you're just kinda there?
Its just one of those nights I feel like sharing this, I guess the message I really want to give is that even in the torn part of my life I can still find an appreciation in the people I know and the connections ive made, so I guess this is more a message not just to myself but to others that there is absolutely hope, just keep pushing because you never know when that day will come. And for the love of GOD don't take it for granted!
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Alpha
This is very much how I've been feeling lately. I absolutely get that feeling of missing your chance a long time ago. The feeling of emptiness is hard sometimes, but I think of the fact that some people never find the right person for them until their 30's or later. Some of those will go through many who they thought would work out, but didn't. That gives me some hope.
Me, I've never been in a proper relationship as far as traditional standards go... I've been in this off and on half-relationship... thing?? since june and, while I hope I'm wrong, it looks very much like I'll be alone again today. It's the first time I've ever gotten even this far with anyone romantically, and sometimes I feel like I'm holding on to sand falling through my fingers. But I keep going, I guess.