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Okay so… I don’t even know where to start. Senior year was supposed to be “the best year ever,” right? The fun one. The last one. Yeah, well. For me? It just feels like straight-up stress 24/7.
I already got held back once, and the fear of failing again literally lives rent-free in my head. Every test feels like a final boss fight. Every time I get called up, my stomach drops. I feel like I’m walking on the thinnest piece of ice and it could crack any second.
Some mornings I just can’t get up. Like physically. My alarm goes off, I stare at the ceiling, and my body just says “nope.” I’ve been skipping a lot because I genuinely don’t have the energy. And then I feel guilty about it. And then the guilt makes the anxiety worse. It’s a whole toxic cycle I can’t seem to break.
I don’t have a huge friend group either. I basically have one close friend. Just one. And sometimes even that doesn’t stop me from feeling insanely alone. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks pretty often. My heart starts racing, I can’t breathe right, my thoughts go crazy, and I just sit there pretending I’m fine. Spoiler: I’m not.
I don’t know how this year is going to end. I just know I’m trying. Even when “trying” looks messy and inconsistent and not good enough. If anyone out there feels the same way, just know you’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re just overwhelmed. And honestly? Same.
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Bi ᝰ.ᐟ
i can understand that, and i agree that trying looks different for a lot of people. i really wish you well, mental and physical anguish is absolutely exhausting to deal with. in my freshman year of college i struggled a LOOOTT, and it bled its way through all of my relationships. coming out from the other side, i can safely say, it really does get better with time, but that effort that we put in makes it that way. no matter what happens, you're still human, you deserve grace and patience. you are awesome and strong as fuck!! i hope this year ends off well for you, just tryand give yourself patience if you can, ik anxiety feels like one million tiny daggers being pelted at u. but!! give yourself a mind-controlled-sheild :)
Thank you so much!
by Kitty06; ; Report
eusarahe°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
You should go to a psychologist so they can prescribe medication for depression or anxiety. Staying in this state of anguish, pretending you're okay, will only make things worse, because in addition to worrying about the things you're facing and feeling, you'll have to worry about pretending nothing is happening. At least that's what I think. Your way of thinking may be different, and I also don't know how your country works in terms of health and money... if you think it's better to pretend than to go to the doctor, that's okay, as long as you're fine
Thx. Not gonna lie, I didn’t expect u to get it like that
by Kitty06; ; Report
Gremlynol
Senior year's rough man, take it from someone who's struggled hard all through school. U can do it!!
It’s kinda sinking in
by Kitty06; ; Report