Growing up is scary

I´ve always felt this desire to grow up. I longed to live by my own rules and do whatever I wanted at the time. Somehow I thought everything was going to get better but life is not that simple. I don´t feel free and I don´t feel like I know all the answers, I just feel trapped, like I can´t live my own life without being judged or discouraged. 

Every time I think about what the future holds for me I get so excited but the longer it lingers in my mind, the more hopeless I begin to feel but what can I do? why am I like this?.

I know things will get better but waiting doesn´t feel like the right answer because why do I have to hold back? . Nothing is stopping me. I need to start chasing everything I dream about until I die.

I´m tired of waiting.