I'M SOOO COOKED

Yesterday my mom confronted me about the cuts on my wrists. Turns out my sister told her those cuts were obviously not an accident and now she's gonna take me to the fucking PSYCHIATRIST.

What do i have to do now??? I don't wanna go. I begged her not to take me and i think i ALMOST convinced her.

My therapist told her that she can't help me anymore. I don't want her to abandon me, she was the first therapist i actually liked and now she's abandoning me.

My sister also hid all the sharp objects in the house. I feel so bad now, i want to apologize for all the suffering i've been causing lately. I'd like to promise my mother that i won't do that anymore, but that's a lie.

I feel bad, really bad. Everything i did was cuz i love my family and want them to stop suffering, but i cause suffering just by being alive.

Can i still get into heaven if i kill myself?

Anyways, Gao out!!