what if..? (written by a guy who's in love.)

What if I never saw her that one time?
What if her eyes never stopped me mid-life, never pulled the air out of my chest?
Would I still be the same man, or just a quieter version of someone unfinished?

From the moment she existed in my world, everything tilted.
My choices leaned toward her.
My future bent in her direction.
Every step I took, every limit I broke, every impossible thing I chased—I chased it so she could stand beside me without ever feeling pain. Not from me. Never from me.

But if she was never there… would anything have moved at all?

I tried to live without her.
I tried other faces, other voices, other almosts.
But the universe kept rejecting the lie, pulling me back like gravity with a name.
My heart refused every substitute.
It knew the truth before I did.

Everything I’m reaching for now—everything I once thought was unreachable—was only reachable because of her.
Take her away, and tell me:
What would’ve pushed me forward?
Who would’ve made me go past myself?

No one.

I loved people, sure.
But love alone never made me burn my limits to the ground.
Only her did.

For her, I would cross lines I never knew I could see.
For her, I would soften where I am stone.
For her, I would become the man I was too afraid to be for the world.

Without her, I’d be a wandering soul—alive, breathing, but directionless.
Life wouldn’t be tragic.
Just empty.

Because she isn’t just someone I love.
She is the meaning I move toward.
The light that keeps me walking when the road eats my strength.

And I will keep moving.
No matter the cost.
No matter the damage.

Because she is worth it.