my sam winchester defense piece (its long)

Okay, to all the Sam haters: I don’t get how anyone could ever hate him. People who hate Sam don’t even understand his character or analyze the show in general at all. Like okay, in the beginning a lot of people say he’s a jerk for ditching dean and john and going to Stanford. But they never understood what he was going through and how he wanted a normal life. And I don't hate Dean for any of this, but he should have been a bit more understanding. Sam felt like he wasn't fit for life and actually built his own life, going to Stanford and everything. And it was just so sad when Jess died and he had to continue hunting. And he was even about to propose to Jess before she died, but Azazel killed her because of that. This thing is not going to be organized. The demon blood is literally NOT his fault. Like seriously, the haters keep finding a way to hate on him. It's not his fault his mom died when he was 6 MONTHS OLD and it's not his fault when he was forced to drink demon blood when he was only 6 months. His fate was decided when he was a baby, so it is not his fault for TRYING to make something good out of it instead of dying or turning into a “monster”. Dean was always so angry at Sam for this, and I understand why he felt that way, because he was scared and other things, but he should have tried to understand and tried to fix Sam. I know he did try but he only just scratched the surface. I get that dean was going through a lot and was tired but sam was going through a lot of similar stuff. Sam’s dad dies too! His mom, his girlfriend died! In the show, he said, “Everyone around me dies, Dean!” quote, unquote. Sam went through so much too, he sacrificed himself to go into the cage with Micheal and Lucifer. He was possessed by Lucifer and he held back the freaking devil so he wouldn't hurt his brother. And in the cage he ust’ve endured all kinds of suffering and torture. He was in there for a year, which is centuries in hell time, and the torture was also implied in the show, even though they never directly talked about it. Yes, Dean went to hell too, but people understand that, they care for him, they feel for him, and they feel bad for him. But so many people ignore how Sam was in the cage for centuries, being tortured by freaking Lucifer. And the demon blood thing, he just wanted to help everyone, he thought he had good intentions. But the first thing an angel ever said to him was, “Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood.” Sam was pretty religious, in one of the episodes he also said that he prayed everyday, and that he believed in angels, all for what? For the first angel he ever met to call him an abomination? He just wanted to help Dean and make everything better, so choosing to drink demon blood as a way to help with good intentions is pretty justified, and he never did anything bad with those powers either. And then the demon detox, it was just outright painful for him. All of those days, drowning in bad memories and hallucinations. His whole life, all he wanted to do was save people and help them, he sacrificed himself, put himself in the cage where he got tortured and so much more for so long. He fought the devil himself to make things right again, he sacrificed himself so dean could forgive him, right before he fell into the cage he apologized to dean. He KNOWS he did things that were wrong, and he tries to make it right by doing whatever he can. And you can't blame him for being angry. He has the RIGHT to, just like everyone. His life was ruined from the day he turned 6 months old, so yeah, he can be angry. And starting the apocalypse, I understand that Dean told him not to trust Ruby but he just wanted to help, and he thought there was no other way. He was manipulated, he didn't want to start it. It wasn't fair, Sam didn't know he was breaking the last seal just like Dean didn't know he broke the first. For so many years after that, he did so much to make things right, he was willing to sacrifice himself AGAIN, like the trials to close the gates to hell. He felt that he “started” everything even though he didn't and he felt that the only way he could prove himself was by dying for a good cause. So yeah, to me, his actions are pretty justified. It's not fair that when he makes a mistake it's horrible but when others make a mistake it's all good (no hate for dean, cas, or any other character, i'm just trying to make a point). He broke the final seal, but Dean broke the first, they’re pretty much both to blame. And soulless Sam, I still don’t understand why people hate him so much. Like OH for GOD'S SAKE he didn't even have a SOUL because it was in hell, being tortured! So forgive him if he lacked empathy being SOULLESS. He didn't have feelings or emotions, and the wall in his mind that stored all of his horrible memories from hell breaking is just brutal for him. And when he let dean turn into a vampire, he was soulless, he thought he had a cure. It was still bad of him to do, but he didn’t have a soul, so maybe just cut him some slack. Yes, allowing Dean to turn into a vampire was wrong, but he knew there was a cure. And he tried his best to become better even when he didn't have a soul, he tried to show feelings and emotions. And when he got his soul back, he was devastated and showed a lot of remorse. Now, some of his actions when he didn't have a soul were pretty bad but he didn't have a soul, he didn't have feelings or emotions, but he tried and he did show remorse later on. Okay, and making deals and working with demons (excluding ruby because i already talked about that before) was 100% justifiable. He only worked with demons when Dean knew and was 100% okay with it, like when they both agreed, not only Sam worked with the demon, Dean also. And when he was trying to bring Dean back from the mark of Cain, when he was torturing those demons “inhumanely” as it seemed and as some have suggested it to be like, it was all for Dean, and Dean would have done the exact same thing. And Dean got so angry at Sam for “being the reason Charlie's dead” when Charlie had a say, she was allowed to decide what to do, and Sam did not force her to do anything, Charlie was willing too. Sam even felt horrible when she died and worst of all, Dean said that Sam should have died, not her. Dean said, “It should’ve been you up there, not her” when Charlie was on the pyre, which really hurt Sam, and Dean never apologized for it or anything. Sam was just doing whatever he could to cure Dean. And I feel like the dean would pretty much do the same. Sam wanted to FIX him, so badly. And for purgatory, I believe there is some reason behind why Sam left life and settled with a dog and Amelia, but I'll just stick to what they said in the show. Sam and Dean made a promise earlier that they would move on with their life if one of them were gone, and I get that Dean is angry and that Dean would have tried to bring Sam back, but Sam was done with hunting and just wanted to move on. Sam also explained to Dean that there were no signs, and that he thought Dean was gone for good. He must have probably assumed Dean was in heaven, being happy. He thought dean was truly gone, and dean should have understood the grief Sam was going through too, he was devastated. This is just an assumption and guess but here it goes: Sam must have felt like he was given a second chance at a normal life, even when he was grieving Dean, when he hit the dog. He still remembered Dean and missed him like hell but he was trying to move on. And he completely dropped everything from his normal life when dean showed up again. But it was different when Sam appeared back from hell when Dean and Lisa were together. Dean didn’t leave immediately, he was planning to go back to Lisa and Ben after helping Sam or something. And about that, Sam didn't come back straight to Dean when he came back from the cage because he wanted Dean to live a normal life with Lisa and Ben. And for the Benny thing, Sam was just genuinely hurt when Dean chose Benny over him, so people have to understand his trust issues with Benny, he was a vampire. And on top of all of this, he worked his hardest to redeem himself through the trials. He was willing to sacrifice himself. I get that Dean forgave him in the “Sacrifice” episode but Sam was so hurt and didn't care about dying, he just wanted to make things right with Dean. He confessed that his greatest “sin” was letting dean down. Dean felt guilty, but Sam basically said that he didn't care if he killed himself during the trials, he just wanted a way to redeem himself. Sam admits that he feels that he isn't clean, he said that he just wanted to do one thing right. Even through all of his mistakes and things he has done, he was ready to die to redeem himself. He has his bad qualities, but he knows he does and he tries to fix it, and he has a lot of good qualities too. And I just have to say, the writing for his character in season 8 was just way off, it's something Sam would never do. It was so out of character honestly. Sam would not have just stopped searching for Dean, he would try to bring him back and do all the research he could, and he showed this in other seasons. When cars broke Sam's wall, Sam basically told Dean it's ok because “it's Cass!” And this is not only justifying his actions, but he’s such a good guy too. He went to hell for the world and got tortured for SO LONG!! And when sam had the demon blood, dean said that he would hunt sam if he wasn't his brother. But when the dean had the mark of Cain? He was actually going off the rails and Sam says, “You'll never hear me say that the real you is anything, but good.” Also in the red meat episode, he got shot and told Dean to get everyone to get to safety and for Dean to get them somewhere else, which really showed how he cared for others. He was trying to get a better relationship with his mom when she came back and dean yelled at him for not believing that Mary was dead, and sam said that he never had the relationship dean had with their mom and he said something like, “and you just expect me to believe that i never will?!” He was saying that he never had a relationship with his mother, unlike Dean, and he’s saying that he can’t accept that he never will have a relationship with her. He was so kind and nice and such a father figure to Jack, even though his father, Lucifer, tortured Sam for so long. Jack was thought to be an abomination and a monster, just like Sam was thought to be. He related it to Jack because it reminded him of when he had demon blood inside of him and couldn't do anything about it. He’s really empathetic and he is such a nice guy too, showing sympathy and care for everyone. Also when he was in the mental hospital, and he was going insane because of lucifer and hell memories, he still helped a girl kill a ghost that was haunting her, even though he was going through absolute crap. He takes saving people really seriously and shows that he is dedicated to it throughout the seasons. And he always gives people second chances, being empathetic towards others. And like Bobby said, "Sam's got a darkness in him. But he's got a hell of a lot of good in him.” and is no one going to talk about how he got SA’d multiple times but the show never showed it, like they never said anything about it. Like even in the first episode with the lady in white kissing him against his will. And then there’s also Meg in season 1 and 2 when she kissed Jo who was possessing Sam. And especially when Becky drugged him and tied him to her bed, with no freaking pants. And then with lucifer, heavily implied, like the show never even let sam talk about hell, even dean talked about it. And then when a British woman of letters, Toni Bevell, drugged him non-consensually and had sex with him to get info, it was a dream but she injected him and drugged him to have that dream. In summary of that part, he was SA’d so many freaking times and he had so much freaking trauma that wasn’t even discussed in the show. It really tortures me how sam haters can even exist, I guess all they do is look at the surface. The surface being: Sam ignoring Dean and drinking demon blood, and leaving Dean to die in purgatory, but there’s more than just that. They don’t understand the complexity of his character and how well, although sad, his character was. I will be the same defender till the day that I die. He spent practically his entire life fighting a battle he didn't choose, and people blame him for fighting the damn battle in the first place when really he should have been wrapped with layers and layers of protection and put aside in a home with his girlfriend because he didn't deserve what happened to him. He was manipulated, used, traumatized, and still got back up, still tried to do good. He carried guilt that wasn't his to carry, and love that sometimes went unrecognized. Dean is also a really good character but this one is for Sam, so this is not meant to attack Dean but to just write about Sam. The thing is, it's like: Dean has the mark of Cain? We feel for him. Sam has demon blood addiction? We hate him, which makes no sense. Dean breaks the first seal? Understandable. Sam breaks the last seal while thinking he was doing good? Monster. You don't understand, I love Dean to hell and back just like Sam, but Sam and Dean are two halves of a whole. One wouldn't exist without the other. There’s no reason to hate any of them. And I love both of them. But his empathy for Jack, his dedication to saving people, his willingness to sacrifice himself, over and over, not for himself, but for redemption. His quiet, relentless fight to be good, in a world that kept telling him he was born wrong and cursed and as a monster. He has so much capacity for love, so much, but the world just doesn't give him anything or anyone to pour his love into, which is why his big heart can make it seem like he’s a bad person. Take a look at Mary for a second, Sam was nothing but patient and kind with her even when Dean was angry at her. Sam just wanted to be loved by his mother who literally died when he was 6 months old. He’s so gentle with his mother, and the reason why is said by Sam himself in the episode “The Big Empty” during the “therapy session”. And his love for Jack, it just kills me. Sam literally sees himself in Jack, like being born a monster, fated to become a monster, fated for destruction, just wants someone, just wants to be loved and to have a family. He cares for Jack so much, and it's so sad because of the reason why. And he didn’t even want to hunt in the first place; he never wanted the hunting life. But he was pulled into it anyway, which isn’t Dean's fault; it was literally the plan of a prince of hell, he would be pulled into life one way or another, willingly or not. And he burdened himself with the fate of the world, with an “I will die for the world” mindset. He makes so many sacrifices. And he’s so intelligent too, he helps so much with the research side of hunting AS WELL as the hunting side, which he is very underrated in. And additionally, he sees the shades of gray in the black and white world they live in. He’s so empathetic, he listens, and he cares for monsters, too. And don't even get me started on the way he thinks and talks about himself, as if he’s ruined, cursed, expendable, nothing, worthless. Sam is suicidally redemptive, and Dean is too, but Sam never gets acknowledged for his sacrifices. For the sacrifices he made when he never chose this life. And people still call him “useless” or “the worst character”.