what do i even say

I hate having to use a vpn just to use spacehey. I wanna blog more noone will read it so it doesnt matter but itll feel nice to say stuff knowing it could be seen. 

Wellll I am learning how to VFX animate for a movie im working on so thats super cool and im really excited to be working on it again after months of like zero motivation to do anything. Im slowly gaining that back which is weird but its super fucking nice because I can actually get shit done. I have A LOT to do and im doing it pretty much completely alone. 

ALSO WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE FROM MY SCHOOL FINDING MY TIKTOK ACCOUNT?!? AND THEY ARE FOLLOWING IT?! DO THEY KNOW ITS ME?! Its the account where i post the bts of my stop motion film im working on. i have no idea if they know its me...my old bestfriend found that account some how?! and then VIEWED THE ACCOUNT ALONG WITH ONE OF HIS FRIENDS!? WHAT THE HELLLLLL. my old bsf from middle school thats just idek dude. he started following me on instagram one day and god that actually drove me mental. like do you hate me or not? just fucking text me atp. anyway i have this new friend i met like 3 weeks ago and i regret it. they are fucking weird and they make me really really uncomfortable to the point i was crying for like 15-20 mins cus of it. i hate the things they say but im too scared to say anything abt it because i dont want to seem mean or anything...even though this is the time i NEED to be mean but i js cant bring myself to do it. - Im starting to distance myself from them. I need them out of my life. 

I cant sign into spacehey on mobile which sucks so ill have to sign into a vpn everyday or close to that to blog abt random stuff. Maybe it will help my memory? my memory is so ass but if i write abt my day then maybe it wont suck so bad. I never understood core memories but the more i think about it i understand it. I can see those memories so vividly, I can hear them, its like im reliving it. its weird...but i need more of it. 

the other week the bitchass school nurse snitched to my mom about the scars on my arms. so my mom found out ive cut myself again. she didnt yell this time, or threaten to send me to a mental hospital or accused me of doing it for attention. wtf? yeah but she was nice abt it. 

Stupid fucking nurse never going there again bro. i hate snitches THEY ARE FUCKING SCARRSSSSSS UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH they are more pigmented because of the cold ass weather. T_T - one mightve been kinda scabbed but whatever. still like scars 

I also am working on my film again so im dedicating all of my time to that so i prob wont be online to much... i think ill only come online to check some things, maybe blog then dip 

Very busy....

I need a real job so i can pay my voice actors when the time comes 
kmmssssss