I never know how to feel when someone like this suffers (rambling)

So obviously I hate it when people suffer. Thats Bad and I consider myself a sensitive person. at least nowadays I am becoming gradually more sensitive. But what if someone is a genuinely unbelievable person that has hurt me beyond what i have the energy to describe and will definitely hurt other people? 

I met this 22 y/o man online a little over a year ago and thought he was a good friend at first but I honestly regret meeting him. I guess he is well-intentioned but he is also unbelievably fucking stupid and conceited, which makes him just look like a terrible person. Hes actually the reason that I dont want 20+ adding me anymore. I'll just explain what he did that was hurtful to me to keep this short. I was very very isolated, homeschooled for years, and this was the first person i decided to actually open up to that i didnt already know before I got stuck at home, so he was pretty important to me because I had like 1 or 2 other friends. But he was honestly scary as FUCK and upon the first month of knowing him would casually make jokes about sa and "uohhh cuny" (although he rants about how disgusting those jokes are today, crazy what a year can do to you ig) and months later, said that he was going to "do something heinous" in 3 years and he "might go to jail". At that time he knew a FIFTEEN year old that he said he was considerating being in a relationship with because he was lonely and i was like Um im sorry but dont do that 😭... he said he felt extremely disgusted with himself for it but yk thats still completely optional... so anyways connecting the dots and considering 15+3=18 and blah blah blah do the thinking yourself, i was liek fuck it, and i reported his discord account thinking that the authorities would give it a look because I heard that discord might report to the authorities sometimes (obviously didnt happen). 

This happened to be at the very worst time of my life, and for some reason I still wanted to be his friend (what too much free time and zero bitches does to a mf), and he seemed completely okay with it so i was like heck yeah. A month or two passes and he keeps beating me down and making me feel worse and being all "heh i really dgaf..... frick you.... grrr..... im so mad and widewy do not care....." whenever i would vent or be miserable. The situation was long over and i could still literally jump off a cliff and go YEEOOOOWWWWWCCCCHHHHHH and he would say "what do you fucking expect me to do about it omfg jesus christ... :/ goddddd stfu...."  oh and he also called me a crock of shit but its okay because he started crytyping about how sorry he was immediately after

So with all this said, its probably very clear to you that this guy is nasty. I got pissed and finally blocked him in June. So much happened in June. "Ouhhhhh muh career :(" yeah man-bitch thats what you get. Ermmmm lets NOT get into that O_o.... But anyways, you may be wondering why I feel kind of bad maybe.

The thing is. He is an asshole, yes, but not because hes evil. He is an asshole because he is a fucking idiot that is incapable of seeing anything from a lens that isnt self-preservation. This does NAWT justify SHIT. My point is that he lacks self awareness. Obviously. He has a total 0% of any self awareness at all and i dont know how there isnt youtube docs calling him a lolcow. I feel like acting like hes evil is like calling Chris Chan an evil mastermind and uhhh yeah he did do some uhhhh fucked up shit but hes more of a walking joke on a social level and theres also a lot of reasons to pity him. Chris chan is WORSE than him. At least hes got that going for him...

Anyways i still havent gotten to my point. I am a yapaholic. This guy has suffered a lot and I almost think that if he lived a more normaler life, he wouldnt be the neurotic victim-card addict that he is. He has been bullied and beaten up and awful shit like that (which also doesnt justify anything and now i feel like im describing a poorly written villain OC with "le sad backstory.") But now things are very very very bad for him. His entire life, he wanted to do some shit with film and animation or whatever and is working on an animation series that he kept infinitely reworking and now he keeps saying its the "final" rework of it which is a bad sign for a guy like him/me that keeps dying every few tuesdays

I dont want him to hurt anyone else, and believe that he, unfortunately, is not the type to change so easy, if ever, thanks to the absence of conscience or self awareness. He also made me suffer and drove me to such ideas of finality and thats terrible and i hate him for that. BUT i cant help but have something in me that feels bad that he seems to be giving up on his film ideas and that hes going through so much pain. Because pain is what made him an insane stupid asshole manbitch to begin with. He isnt the exact same person that he was when he would casually joke about disgusting shit last year. Hes not a gross weird edgy bitch blue archive fan anymore, just a weird edgy bitch now.

I cant decide how i should feel about this. He talks like hes in a shonen anime ("my own family forsaken me" type shit) and is STUPIDDD as HELL but also suffering is Really Bad. I dont wish depression, crushed dreams, loneliness, or anything like any of that on anyone. He is childish and appalling and acts like the stereotype of an edgy 14yo at his big big age but i honestly have yet to meet anyone that is an adult and actually fucking acts like it in todays world.

If anyone has read this far, tell me what you think.