Again :/

I relapsed again. I thought everything was fine, I had a feeling it was coming, but I didn't think it would happen. Yesterday or the day before, I don't know, I cut myself again. I think everything will be alright this time. I don't want help. I feel inadequate. Why again? I feel alone. There's an emptiness inside me that's reopened. 

I don't know what to do anymore, my head can't take any more, my cuts look awful. 

(..)