Idfk anymore

I'm sorry if it's confusing or not well-written, I'm not fuent in English and I don't really know how to tell stories or explain my feelings

So remember that girl I rejected and had the ick everytime she did something?

Right, months passed, and I think I'm starting to like her? I don't know, it's so fucking confusing

Basically, some time after my rejection, she started dating another girl (that had almost all the same tastes and traces of personality as me btw, I guess she has a type) but they had to break up because of her family and blah blah blah

But, while she was dating that girl, I was jealous? Not because she was in a relationship and I wasn't, I mean, kinda, but also of her with that girl kissing and being lovey-dovey AUGH

I literally stalked that girl's socials almost everyday, I was obsessed 

And, to add, my friend's class is divided, when some people have geography and economics and those things the other have biology, geology, etc. they're togheter in Portuguese, P.E and they're with mine class in religion and Latin classes

There's this girl, super lesbian, long hair, and I kinda got obsessed and wanted to know everything about her. But she only has tiktok and I CAN'T FUCKING FIND HER ACCOUNT TO KNOW WHAY SHE LIKES TO SOFT LAUNCH LIKE "Oh, I loved the new mitski song" ykwim?

Anyways, back to the girl I reject

When she told me she broke up, I got so FREAKING HAPPY and the long haired girl obsession I had got away, I hope so

Today she missed school and I'm kinda sad ngl 

That's so confusing

I can also just be fucking needy and jealous yk, needing romantic validation of someone, needing to know that I'm not that much of a weirdo and ugly, that I'm actually likeable 

Or maybe I'm actually starting to like her, since we're actually getting to know each other now naturally, without that embarrassing talking stage

Anyways, needed to get this out of my chest somewhere that wasn't my Twitter private acc

Gotta study Philosophy now, bye bye XD