Blogs and Diaries

This is basically me rambling and by the end I realised I might be going off the topic in the title but Imma leave it in i guess. 

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Date: 30th Jan, 2026

(I dont know if i like this being my first blog but its too big for a bulletin no?)

I have thought about writing blogs since it seems cool but i dont know what to write. I mean i guess i do have ideas but i just never get to doing it. I could also just simply write about my day, but the thought of putting my feelings into words and for people to possibly see it is a bit daunting man idk.

There is the diary option on here tho. I have tried maintaing a diary a few times in real life too but it just doesnt work. I cringe as i look back at the entries a few days later and never pick it up again. I guess i struggle with expressing myself properly. 

Bulletins are nice cause i can just type out random thoughts occasionally and forget about them, and they are gone after a few days.

I probably might start a diary again someday. Maybe if i stick to it I will not struggle as much to express my thoughts and emotions to others. I just feel like silly goofball lol. 
All i do now is talk to myself in my head but theres like a hundred more thoughts at the same time and i have a shitty attention span. I shift from one topic to other and I basically live in my head i guess, making random fictional scenarios. Its fun tho when i feel like my life is pointless. All this mess causes me to feel even more confused when i feel a certain way cause i am like why do i feel like this and i cant pinpoint the cause cause a bunch of small things culminate together. 

I am in a weird spot right now in my life so maybe thats why everything feels confusing. However this will be over in a few months so maybe things will get better from then. I wanna work on myself more from then. 

There is so many things i wanna try and do and have fun but i just feel like i am wasting my life.
I just turned 18 and my teenage years will end in 2 years (18 and 19). But i dont really have like those speacial teenage memories or moments much. It feels like it went away and i just wasted it all and i am an adult now and behind everyone else.

Hopefully my next blog will be something more chill lol. I am already cringing reading this back.

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Hope you have a good day. Thanks for reading my pointless rant