Empty Human

   - I made this in 1/28/2025 at night. I have this recurring, melancholic feeling that creeps up everyday at night, randomly.. - 

   I have always been an empty human. 

   Not girl.

   Not boy.

   Just human.

   "What is a human?", I ask everyday as I stand infront of a mirror. My body figure is soft, harsh, or unexplainable at edges. But, inside of me there is nothing but bloody organs that attach to my bones.

   "Where's the light?", my sight questions as it sees hollows imbuing my body. 

   "Where's MY light?"-- Is the question that changes it's answer everyday. 

   Somedays the light is in my quiet eyes that see the world sealed by nature. 

   Somedays the light is in my mouth that echoes words that passes through people. 

   Someday it is in my filthy hands that are drowning in guilt. 

   But, sometimes it is clean with the stories a hand could intepret without fear.

   Somedays it is in my mind, sealed by hair, but horrific with it's thoughts.

   And other days, there's no light.

   Humans have light. A determined light that shined through it's core. But mine shines through my mouthless skull.

   Humans have love. A love that touch describes with moans. But mine is described with lifeless words. 

   Humans have empathy. An empathy that knows what to say. But mine knows what to except.

   Humans have ego. An ego that drowns others with hate. But mine drowns with love.

   Humans have EVERYTHING that I dont want. 

   I never wanted to destroy. 

   I never wanted to kiss.

   I never wanted to talk.

   I never wanted to cry.

   I NEVER wanted to be a human. 

   Empty is now what makes me human.

   It's all I have left. With myself, I'm just alone. Humans have company even when they are alone.

   ...

   I dont.