Report Blog Entry
do you ever happen to find yourself in a situation that your inner voice screams at you like "hey, pal, here ain't ur place", at meetings, while studying for your major, or just all the time? cuz that's how i have been feeling lately
i wouldn't even say lately, but almost all the time, you just tend to straw away from this thought when you feel better ig
it's not like i feel bad, no, not at all
it's just the expectations that u want to punch your hardest on
to let u know, i'm studying information security as a sophomore
and while i was choosing for my major, i wanted it to be related to videogame dev, so i was thinking of compsci at least
but since i ended up getting high points, i was left with the choice mentioned earlier
and just bcuz im studying in it, people, especially my fam are like: "they will work as a programmer (they cant even differentiate the professions), at [insert any company that even a fly cant pass from]"
sometimes i despise that mindset
imagine a chair and 200 people chasing over that one single chair. this is the literal marketplace rn.
and just bcuz i feel like im pinned over solely this decision, my will to spend my effort on game dev, or even as an artist keeps dying frequently
and i end up being in this spiral, over and over again
the thing that pmo is that just cuz someone is capable of doing smth, that thing shouldnt be forced on them. just cuz i end up being a topper all the time doesnt mean that i love this field, im just doing it only for the scholarship.
and now, practice in infosec: 0, as a gamedev: 0, havent even touched any engine, as an artist: well i mean... i dont draw professionally but ig can handle??
people usually scold me ab not calling myself a loser, but explain, what side of this is not being a loser fr-
i wish i could seriously make up my mind about my future
responsibilities
0 Kudos
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
hecthor
honestly the coding sector is weird as hell, companies dont want a title, just experience. and how you want your future depends on many things, for example, if you want to develop games for a company you need experience and a decent title, but you could also make them yourself. you can publish games on itchio until steam approves your profile. even quit school or spend less time studying if you feel its useless. life is weirdly about that, you need to evaluate and know where to expend your time always.
you can maybe step down studying to find a game engine and learn it slowly, maybe develop some few games and showing them to friends. if it works, spend more time there. maybe switch game engines, maybe switch game genres. maybe quit university and find any other kind of stuff to study thats not related to universities if your parents want you to keep studying. or just try to get a decent job with programming experience.
maybe im not helping at all, lmfao just let me know
noo dw even tho for now im not planning to quit university until i finish the bachelor degree
for now the topper scholarship is enough to aid me (even tho its hard to save some of it for later), im getting my head around with all the internships my uni offers
and based on the experiences i have, ill make my final decision
yknow, also when i see people in my age advancing in their chosen path, i dont feel bad anymore
maybe this time is given to me to actually make up my mind properly
and also thanks for sounding your opinion :3
by ｐｌｕｔｏ ಠ╭╮ಠ; ; Report
thats so cool and im happy opportunities given to other people dont bother you anymore lmao
but you should try working on projects yourself if you have the time, might help you with the interships
and good luck with that too, i heard its so hard to find a job these days
by hecthor; ; Report
lowk it is, but there is a proverb here like "whoever searches always finds (smth)" soo
and thank u for ur advice too :D and thank u once again
by ｐｌｕｔｏ ಠ╭╮ಠ; ; Report
hope you can find a job tho, good luck!
by hecthor; ; Report