I just want love

I feel so lost I came to school after homeschooling for a long time now. I have always loved alternative stuff, like in terms of fashion and music and everything about it. I loved it. I met a boy. He was super sweet, and he was everything i wanted in a boy. He was a little nerdy, and he was perfect but later on, everything went downhill because I was too much with overthinking than I dated another kinda alt guy. we blew up on each other and then no one likes me at school. They all think I'm weird and quiet and probably hate the way I dress. I feel chubby and feel like I'll never find the one and the boys I liked found out and made fun of me and I did in the past get mad at one of the popular guys which probably just ruined things more for me and the first guy i dated wasn't very liked but really at his point I don't wanna wait for someone I just want to love someone and to be loved by someone, and i'm thinking of changing everything about me just to find someone to be with becuase i crave it so bad and im tired of seeing the popular girls get everything i want.