I spent my childhood wanting to grow up

When I was a kid, I was always in a hurry. I used to think that growing up would mean freedom, but I was WRONG. Now that I'm older, and honestly? I would do anything just to go back. Well, not because my life is lowkey horrible now, but because everything feels heavier. I overthink too much. I worry more. Problems don't disappear after a a nap anymore. NOTHING FEELS SIMPLE THE WAY IT USED TO. I really really miss when happiness was easy. When my biggest problem was finishing my homework fast enough to play or watch some cartoons. I miss not constantly being aware of time passing. 

I didn't know that one day I would feel nostalgic for things I didn't even appreciate that much. I can remember it, I can miss it, but the thing is, I can never return to it. I literally wasted something I didn't know was valuable yet. No one tells you the last time you'll do something as a kid. One day, you'll get older and those moments are suddenly.....unreachable. When I was kid, I never understood why adults told me to enjoy being young. It sounded so annoying back then, but now it just sounds true. 

Up until now, I'm still rushing. I still catch myself wanting the next thing. I don't want to do that again, I don't want to look back at being a teenager and feel the same regret. I don't want to remember this time as another phase I rushed through without being really present. So now, I'm actually trying to slow things down. To stop wishing time away just because I'm uncomfortable.  Maybe the best thing I can do now is to stay. To stay in this age, in this feeling, in this version of myself before it becomes another thing I miss without realizing I was living it.